Achieving Your Dream Life: The Ultimate Goal Setting Guide

Goals & Vision for 2024 and Beyond

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Preface:

This article is connected to Episode 9 on the More of You with Em podcast (click for link). The episode is called “Goals & Vision for 2024 and Beyond.” The host, Em, has a great conversation with Soul Stone Wellness’s founder, Peighton Stone, to talk all about how to goal set to achieving your goals. We cover a lot of information and wanted to make sure our listeners have a place to come to for tangible takeaways that they can implement in their own life. 

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“Envision your highest self, and show up as them.” 

Peighton Stone, originally adapted from Anita Quanash London

Why Goal Set?

As we navigate life, understanding the essence of goal setting becomes essential. It's not just about listing your dreams; it's an incredible journey towards understanding who we are, and more importantly, who we want to be. This exploration involves diving into the complexities of personal values, recognizing our love languages to enhance self-love, and crafting vision boards that serve as a compass to our dreams.

Goal setting it not just about listing your dreams; its an incredible journey towards understanding who we are, and more importantly, who we want to be.

Personal growth is a vital practice in life. The process of improving oneself through activities that develop talents, potential, and consciousness, will allow you to uncover dreams that will lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Engaging in personal growth helps individuals adapt to changes, overcome challenges, and seize opportunities. It also enhances one's ability to impact others positively and contribute to society. Furthermore, personal growth leads to increased self-awareness, better emotional health, and improved relationships with others. It allows individuals to live life to its fullest potential, continually learning, evolving, and becoming the best versions of themselves.

Goal Setting 

Goal setting is the process of identifying something you want to achieve and planning the small steps that will help you get there. Often times, when you hear goal setting, you will hear about a  tool called S.M.A.R.T. goals. This tool is used in many different professional fields as the guide to setting goals and actually achieving them. 

The purpose of setting goals is to give you a clear focus, highlighting the small steps to take to reach that goal, and then working towards achieving it. It involves establishing specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound objectives (often referrect your efforts, and help you measure progress. Goal setting is not just about creating a plan for your life and career, but also about helping you create the blueprint to turn your vision of the future into reality.

Goal setting is not just about creating a plan for your life and career, but also about helping you create the blueprint to turn your vision of the future into reality.

The journey towards achieving your goals is influenced by two critical aspects: the 'will' and the 'way.'

The 'will' refers to our internal motivation, desire, and commitment to achieve the goals. It's the driving force that keeps us focused and persistent, even when faced with challenges. Having a strong 'will' means being passionate and dedicated, with a clear vision of what we want to achieve.

The 'way' is about the strategies, methods, and plans we employ to reach our goals. It involves understanding the steps, developing the necessary skills, and creating a practical and actionable roadmap. This aspect focuses on the practicalities of goal achievement, such as time management, resource allocation, and overcoming obstacles.

In order to successfully achieve our goals, it's crucial to balance both the 'will' and the 'way.' While the 'will' provides the motivation and energy, the 'way' offers a structured and realistic approach to turn our aspirations into reality. By nurturing both aspects, we can ensure a more effective and fulfilling journey towards our goals. 

Think of setting goals like planting a seed for your future. But it's not just wishing really hard (the will) to see it grow. You also need to know how to take care of it (the way). This means learning how to plan, choose what's most important, and start working on it. It's like knowing when to water the seed and when give it sunlight. So, setting goals is about both really wanting to achieve them and following the blueprint to make them happen.

To enhance both the way and the will:

• Improve 'The Way' (Method/Strategy) 

• Break big goals into smaller steps.

• Create a clear plan with specific actions.

• Use tools like calendars or planners to stay organized.

• Practice focusing on one task at a time.
  

• Strengthen 'The Will' (Drive/Desire)

• Remember why your goals are important to you.

• Keep track of your progress to stay motivated.

• Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage you.

• Celebrate small achievements along the way.

Personal Values

Understanding and identifying personal values are crucial steps in personal development and setting meaningful life goals. When we align our goals with our values, we find deeper satisfaction and a sense of purpose in our actions. It's not just about achieving objectives; it's about fulfilling what truly matters to us. Therefore, identifying and honoring our personal values is vital for leading a fulfilling and authentic life. By doing so, we ensure our goals are not just achievable but are also in harmony with our true selves, leading to lasting happiness and contentment.

This process typically involves a few steps of reflection and identification of certain values like communication, security/safety, love, family, success, stability, creativity, etc. Consider completing a personal values exercise that will pinpoint your top 3-5 values, making it easier for you to align your lifestyle, goals, and work to your top values.

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Personal values exercise: http://webmedia.jcu.edu/advising/files/2016/02/Core-Values-Exercise.pdf

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Reflection: Consider moments in life when you felt most fulfilled, proud, or happy, as these often highlight your underlying values.

• Identification: List your top values, like family, creativity, honesty, etc. These values represent what's truly important to you. Knowing your personal values helps you understand your true self. This self-awareness leads to authenticity, allowing you to live in a way that reflects your true nature and beliefs.
  

• Prioritization: Rank these values in order of importance. This helps in understanding which values are non-negotiable and which are more flexible. You're more likely to commit to and achieve goals that resonate with your core beliefs and principles.
  

• Alignment: Regularly assess how well your actions and goals align with these values. When they match, you'll likely feel more satisfied and content. Aligning goals with personal values provides a sense of direction and purpose.
  

• Adaptation: Be open to the idea that values can evolve over time, and adjust your goals accordingly to reflect these changes.

Personal Values - Journal Prompts

After you’ve identified your top values, take some time to reflect on them. This will help to integrate them into your mind and begin to make small adjustments to your lifestyle so that you align with your values.

• How do your top values influence your daily decisions and interactions with others?

• In what ways have you compromised your top  values in the past, and what were the consequences?

• How can you align future goals and plans more closely with your top values?

• Are there any values that you have, but find challenging to incorporate into your life? How can I develop a lifestyle or actions around this value?

• Reflect on a recent decision where your values guided you. How did this impact the outcome?

• How do your values guide you in defining what success means to you?

• Before finding out your top values, what values did you think were most important? How do they compare to the values you discovered are truly important?

Love Languages

Understanding your primary love language aids in nurturing self-care and fulfilling relationships. Originating from Dr. Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages," this theory elucidates how individuals give and receive love in unique ways. Recognizing your own love language isn't just enhancing relationships with others; it's equally about nurturing a relationship with yourself. The five ways we receive love from others, as described by Gary Chapman, are:

• Words of Affirmation: Expressing love and appreciation through verbal affirmations, compliments, and positive words.
  

• Quality Time: Valuing undivided attention and spending meaningful time together.
  

• Receiving Gifts: Feeling loved through thoughtful gifts and gestures.
  

• Acts of Service: Appreciating actions that ease burdens, like help with chores or other tasks.
  

• Physical Touch: Experiencing affection and care through physical contact like hugs, holding hands, etc.

Pay attention to patterns in your relationship- what makes you feel most connected or valued? 

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Consider taking a love languages quiz for a structured approach to identifying your primary language: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

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Self-Love Language

The way that we prefer to receive love from others may look a little different from how we receive love from ourselves. Its best to practice a few of the self love language habits listed below and reflect on which ones bring you the most energy and peace. 

• Words of Affirmation: Journaling, speaking affirmations to yourself in the mirror, reflecting on your accomplishments in life or that day
  

• Quality Time: Reading, listening to music, going for a walk.
  

• Receiving Gifts: Treating yourself to a new top, a coffee or new book.
  

• Acts of Service: Cleaning your space, organizing your calendar, meal prepping. 
  

• Physical Touch: Taking a bubble bath, getting a massage, working out. 

Identifying your primary self-love language involves introspection and reflection on what brings energy and peace back to you. It could be affirming words, time spent with yourself, thoughtful gifts, helpful actions, or physical touch. By understanding your love language, you can better communicate your needs and practice self-love in ways that are most fulfilling to you. This might mean setting aside time for self-care activities that align with your love language, such as journaling (words of affirmation), solitary walks (quality time), treating yourself to small gifts, volunteering or helping others (acts of service), or engaging in physical activities that make you feel good (physical touch).

Recognizing your own love language isn't just about enhancing relationships with others; it's equally about nurturing a relationship with yourself

Doing the work: Breaking down big goals to manageable steps

Congratulations! You’ve put in the work of figuring out your personal values and love language. Now, it’s time to dig deep on your goals so you can create a master plan to conquer them, one step at a time!

To achieve a goal like eating more fruits and vegetables in a month, follow these tangible steps:

• Set a Specific Goal: Decide how many servings of fruits and vegetables you want to eat daily. Be specific, like "I will eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day."
  

• Create a Plan: Plan your meals and snacks. Include fruits and veggies in each meal or as part of your snacks.
  

• Prepare in Advance: Shop for a variety of fruits and vegetables weekly. Prepare them in advance for easy access.
  

• Track Your Progress: Keep a food diary or use an app to track your intake daily.
  

• Adjust as Needed: Review your progress weekly. If you're not meeting your goal, adjust your strategy.
  

• Reward Yourself: Set milestones, like a week of achieving your goal, and reward yourself with something healthy and enjoyable.
  

• Seek Support: Share your goal with friends or family for accountability and support.

Breaking down a big goal, like creating a website, into achievable steps over a year involves a methodical and patient approach. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you achieve this:

• Identifying the Big Goal: Start by defining the ultimate goal, in this case, launching a website. Be clear about what you want this website to achieve and how you envision it.
  

• Breaking It Down into Monthly Focus Areas: Divide the year into months, assigning each month a specific focus area that contributes to the website. For example, one month could be dedicated to content creation, another to design, and so on. You can also “habit stack” and build each monthly goal on top of the previous month. So, for example, if you start in January by planning the details of your website, in February you can start to build out the brand while keeping the details in mind from January.
  

• Setting Monthly Goals: Within each focus area every month, set smaller goals. If the focus is on content, your goal could be writing a certain number of blog posts or web pages per week or month.
  

• Weekly and Daily Tasks: Break down monthly goals into weekly and daily tasks. For instance, if your monthly goal is to write eight blog posts, aim to write two posts per week. We recommend taking 30 minutes to one hour every week to review your progress and tasks for the week ahead to come up with a strong plan of action. Clarity in your tasks can help to lower overwhelm and anxiety and increase your productivity during the week to accomplish your tasks!
  

• Consistency: Stay consistent! Some weeks will be more difficult than others. It’s important to take time to rest and reassess your tasks and goals. It’s okay, once you are back on track, get right back to your goals.
  

• Baby Steps Lead to Big Actions: Acknowledge that small, consistent steps lead to significant achievements. Regular small tasks accumulate to complete the big picture.
  

• Work Backwards: Plan by starting from the end goal and working backwards to understand what needs to be done at each stage.
  

• Regular Self-Reviews: Schedule bi-weekly or monthly reviews to assess progress, make adjustments, and stay aligned with your goal. When first starting out, we recommend self-reviews more often.
  

• Flexibility in Goal Achievement: Understand that it’s okay if you don’t meet a goal within the set timeframe. Reassess and adjust your plan as needed.
  

• Creating a Vision Board: Visualize your progress and end goal using a vision board. This can be a motivational tool to keep you focused and inspired. Keep it on your laptop, phone, or next to your work space!
  

• Scheduling and Time Management:

• Plan for the Next Day: Every evening, plan your tasks for the next day.

• Weekly Reviews: Every Sunday, review the upcoming week’s schedule.

• Monthly Alignment: Ensure that your monthly goals align with your personal values and the big goal.

Peighton here!

Wow! That was a lot to take away. This blog post is the ultimate guide to achieving your dream life through goal setting. If you benefited from this blog, take some time to listen to the podcast episode where Em and I dive into these topics and tips in a more conversational way. We were sipping on matcha tea as we recorded, so get cozy, grab a notebook and join us on the More of You with Em podcast episode #9.

Resources:

• Personal Values Practice: http://webmedia.jcu.edu/advising/files/2016/02/Core-Values-Exercise.pdf

• Article: “What Are Your Values?” https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values

• Love Languages Quiz: https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes

• Article: “What Is My Love Language?” https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/what-is-my-love-language-quiz

• The Will vs The Way article - “The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change:” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5854216/

For further digging on your values and inner-self, check out these resources:

• StrengthFinders 2.0: https://a.co/d/bJYBg1m

• Atomic Habits by James Clear: https://a.co/d/hl3EA5F

• For Peighton: Peighton’s favorite planner for goal setting/tracking: Amazon.EccoloPlanner

• The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness: https://a.co/d/iHMHFVZ

• Mental Health & Therapy Practice in South Florida: https://cmctherapyfl.com/

Connect with us online!

Em:

Insta: @moreofyouwithem

Spotify: More of You with Em podcast

Peighton Stone:

Insta: SoulStone.Wellness

Website: www.soulstonewellness.com